Installing and running Debian armel on an emulated ARM machine on Windows (QEMU)

Why, you ask me? Well, it all begun with Raspberry Pi... If you don't know the amazing, tiny, soon to be the greatest thing to happen to personal computing since... sliced bread?, please, do yourself a favor and click the link.

If you are feeling a little too TL;DR for that, maybe you should skip this post, but since I'm such a nice guy I'm willing to cut you some slack and give you the skinny: The RasPi is soon-to-be a tiny, sub-$50 full-featured computer. It is possible thanks to mobile technology, specially a System-on-a-Chip (SoC) manufactured by Broadcom for use in smartphones. It has a kick-ass graphics processor (capable of running 1080p video, or Quake 3, without heating much above body temperature. Don't take my word for it, click play and enjoy the show):

This amazing GPU is combined in the same package with a handful of on-board RAM (128 or 256MB, depending on version) and an ARM processor. Which is great, except that most of the software we use on a daily basis is built for Windows running on x86, not Linux on ARM. So people are excited about it, but at the same time they don't know if their favorite piece of software is gonna run on this puppy. And people being people (myself included), they don't want to wait until late November to get their hands on one. Therefore, here we are, trying to emulate it, at least well enough to test if we can compile... well, whatever the heck we may want to compile and run on the RasPi.

Full disclosure: You can emulate an ARM1176 on the latest versions of QEMU, but you cannot simply install a run-off-the-mill Linux distro on it, because no distro nowadays ships with compatible kernels. We could go thru all the trouble of cross-compiling one, and installing Debian using it, but we won't. Why? Because most software that runs on the ARM926 we are going to emulate will compile and run just fine on the ARM1176 core in the RasPi. If the emulated architecture were more advanced, like an ARMv7A, it would probably run software incompatible with the Raspberry Pi, like Adobe Flash 10. But since the ARM1176 is the natural replacement to the ARM926, emulating the earlier platform can have no impact other than performance, and that is already going to be puny thanks to being emulated anyways. Sure, you could also argue I'm just being lazy, and you'd not be far from the truth either.

First and foremost, you need to get yourself a copy of QEMU for Windows. I recommend downloading the latest binary from http://lassauge.free.fr/qemu/ (some assembly required, it does not come with required fmod.dll, SDL.dll, mgwz.dll and libusb0.dll, but has links to current versions of the files and/or instructions to roll your own). You can also cut some corners and download your copy from http://homepage3.nifty.com/takeda-toshiya/qemu/ (no longer updated, but has a version 0.13.0 of QEMU good enough for what we are trying here). If you're too lazy to bake your own DLLs, I have put together an easy to use ZIP file with QEMU 0.15 and all needed libraries. You can download it here. Just remember to unzip and/or compile all your QEMU files, including DLLs, to the same folder (hat-tip to obarthelemy @ the Raspberry Pi forums).

Edit: the networking section is under scrutiny in the Raspberry Pi forums. I'll be updating as I get new information from other users; if you can't get it to work, give us a call.

Now you'll need to download OpenVPN, in order to create a network tap. You can go straight ahead and click here. During installation it creates a couple of TAP-Win32 Adapters, one of which you can dispose of. Go to Adapter Settings - here's where to find'em on Windows 7:

- and rename your TAP-Win32 Adapter something single-worded, like TAP32. Now you'll need to manually set your TAP adapter. Right-click your it and select Properties. Once there, de-select all protocols, except the Internet Protocol Version 4 (TCP/IP v4). Click it and then Properties:

Tricky part: you'll need to know your gateway IP address, but I guess if you haven't given up on this tutorial already, you know your local network inside out. Set the IP manually to something within your subnet's range, but not used by any of your machines, as well as put your router's IP as gateway and DNS server. Here's a screenshot, just don't copy it, use your local values instead:

Once you hit OK and are back at the Network Connections windows, hold Control, select both the TAP adapter and the one you use to connect to the internet, right click'em and select Add to Bridge:

You'll get a new adapter type, a MAC Bridge Miniport. You don't need to rename it, but you might also need to manually set it's IP address, Gateway and DNS servers (your mileage with Windows' auto-config may vary). Just follow the steps for the TAP-Win32 adapter and you'll be fine. Okeydokey, network ready. Now you'll need to get acquainted with the Command Prompt. It sits here, inside your Accessories folder:

You can always just type CMD on the Start menu and hit Enter, and you'll get one of the little buggers (don't you love Windows 7?). Now navigate to the folder where you put your QEMU installations and run

qemu-img create -f raw hda.img imagesize

where imagesize is the size of the disk you wish to create for your emulated device. It accepts the format number+suffix, as in 256M for 256 megabytes or 2G for gigabytes, etc. for some reason, my qemu-img refused to accept 8G as an argument, so I entered 8096M instead. Go figure (it seems crundy @ the RasPi forums had the same problem with 4G. I recommend you always use 1024M instead of 1G when trying to make gigabyte-sized disks). You now have a virtual hard-drive where you're gonna install Debian. To do it, you'll need two things: a kernel and an initrd. The kernel, as the name implies, is the core of the Linux operating system. The initrd is the initial ramdisk, a file containing information the kernel expects to find inside your computer's memory in order to find bootable devices, etc. When doing a networked install, the initrd contains the basic installer software, which will, in turn, download the rest of the Linux distribution from the internet. The latest stable Debian distribution for ARM can be found at http://ftp.debian.org/debian/dists/stable/main/installer-armel/current/images/versatile/netboot/.Just point your browser there get initrd.gz and vmlinuz-2.6.32-5-versatile. Now you have your hard dirk image, kernel and initrd. Time to start having fun! (not). On your Command Prompt window, type


qemu-system-arm -L . -kernel vmlinuz-2.6.32-5-versatile -initrd initrd.gz -hda hda.img -m 256 -M versatilepb -net nic -net tap,ifname=networkname -append "desktop=lxde"

where networkname is the name of your TAP-Win32 adapter (you DO remember it, don't you?) and -append "desktop=lxde" is optional. If you leave it out, you'll get the default Gnome desktop (assuming you install a desktop environment, a part we'll be getting into soon). Adding the desktop boot parameter allows you to choose an alternate desktop environment, in this case LXDE, the Lightweight  X11 Desktop Environment, which, the RasPi team informs us, is what we'll probably get with their boot images. It does help tons (pun intended) to replace Gnome with LXDE when everything runs so damn slow (no one said emulation was easy). Once you hit enter, assuming you did everything right (be sure to have all required files in the same folder), you'll be greeted with a new window:

Soon you'll see the Debian installer window. Select your local language, keyboard layout, country etc. according to your geographical location and preferred settings. The options are mostly idiot-proof, so when in doubt, just let the installer guide you. Unless you really do use a Domain on Windows, keep that field blank. Your Workgroup won't work, even if that's what the installer recommends (thanks again, obarthelemy!). Once the software selection screen comes up, be sure to select whatever packets you believe you'll need (including a graphical desktop environment, unless you're comfortable enough with Linux to leave that out). Don't go hitting Enter like I did the first time, the key you use to select packets is the space bar (duh!).

Now sit tight for what will be, depending on your connection, quite a long time. When the installer is finally done, it will warn you that no boot loader was installed. What it means is that you cannot simply reboot the Virtual Machine to load your freshly installed Linux. Wait for it to finish up and restart, then hit Control+Alt+2 to go to the QEMU console. This is where you can issue commands directly to the emulator. Simply type q and hit Enter to close QEMU (or you can just hit the big, red, X-button Your call). Now you'll need a new initrd (remember, the other one contains the installer payload, not the directions to boot your media). If we were running Linux, we could mount our virtual hard disk and copy the initrd from /root. Fortunately for us Windows users, we can also download one from http://people.debian.org/~aurel32/qemu/armel/. Go there, fetch yourself initrd.img-2.6.32-5-versatile and copy it to the QEMU folder. Now I recommend you open Notepad and make this new command into a batch file, otherwise you'll need to type this mouthful every time you want to run your emulated Linux box. Make sure to turn Word Wrap off in the Format menu and type
@qemu-system-arm.exe -L . -kernel vmlinuz-2.6.32-5-versatile -initrd initrd.img-2.6.32-5-versatile -hda hda.img -k en-us -m 256 -M versatilepb -net nic -net tap,ifname=networkname -append "root=/dev/sda1"
where networkname is the name of your TAP-Win32 adapter (repeat myself much?). Now save it to the QEMU folder with the .BAT extension. To run the Virtual Machine, just double click the .BAT file and off we go. The system will boot mostly like the installer, but (depending on whether you installed a desktop environment) will go to a login screen (Gnome shown below). Type the name and password you've set up during installation and voilá! Linux on ARM!

...now, if you're too damn lazy to go thru the entire installation process, I have a treat for you: downloadable images! All you need is to install a Torrent client, then click here for LXDE or here for Gnome. Alternately, you can download them via RapidShare: click here for LXDE or here for Gnome. Just copy the files to your QEMU folder and double-click the corresponding .BAT file, you remiss indolent!

Thanks go to Francisco Benitez's great tutorial for installing Debian on QEMU, which I've adapted for Windows and updated, and to Ken's tutorial on Windows networking for QEMU. This page wouldn't exist if it wasn't for these and other great resources I found online.

Boicote aos produtos da Ambev, atualização

Aqui em casa, não se consome mais nada da Ambev. Se você não sabe porque, role o browser pra baixo ou clique nesse link. O que quer dizer que eu, viciado em Pepsi Twist Light, sou obrigado a beber Coca Zero. É; foda. Mas a gente vai levando, o refrigerante é mais caro, cerveja é quase impossível de comprar sem patrocinar algum rodeio (só micro-cervejarias e importações independentes; já mencionei que tudo ficou mais caro?). Como eu já disse; foda. Mas foda mesmo é abrir garrafa de Coca Zero... PQP, Coca Cola Company, vocês não podiam ter projetado uma tampa pior? Talvez com uns espinhos e lâminas? Ô tampinha filha de uma rapariga... Olha o que a última fez com a minha mão:

Design nota zero, Coca Cola.

P.S. Pra quem tá se perguntando, sim, eu voltei a fazer a famosa "água de balde", 60% Coca Zero e 40% Schweppes Citrus Light. Continua mais gostosa que Pepsi Twist Light, mas custa mais caro.

Foursquare: meu primeiro special

Ok, assim parece que eu sou um n00b brincando de usar redes sociais, mas veja bem: sou usuário de Fourquare desde que arrumei um celular com Android, em julho de 2010. Na época a coisa nas redes sociais de geolocação era tão desértica que, sem brincadeira, existia UM local registrado pra dar check-in no Gowalla na cidade onde eu comprei o celular (a nunca-saudosa São José do Hell Preto). Até hoje eu tenho uma enorme dificuldade de encontrar estabelecimentos realmente explorando o potencial do Foursquare (sim, eu desisti do Gowalla de lá pra cá). E isso nos leva à minha visita de hoje à tarde à Leroy Merlin (prêmio especial por usar três crases na mesma frase vai para... moi!). Estávamos lá, eu e a Cau, na fila para pagar por duas lâminas de serra tico-tico (e mais trocentas coisas que pegamos no caminho do caixa, será que nunca vamos conseguir ir na Leroy e comprar só o que fomos buscar?) quando decidimos fazer o check-in nosso de cada dia... E surge o aviso de que o Foursquare tem um special na Leroy, como mostra o screenshot a seguir:

...será? Só ir no Balcão de Atendimento e pegar meus brindes? Fomos lá, tiramos uma senha e esperamos nossa vez. A mocinha, como previsto, não fazia a menor idéia do que se tratava o assunto. Mas diga-se em favor dela, era cheia de atitude e jogo de cintura: saiu de trás do balcão e nos levou até outro balcão, esse intitulado Balcão de Apoio e... voilá! espressos e ecobags pra mim e pra Cau!

Isso mudou minha impressão sobre a Leroy Merlin? Não sei dizer, afinal minha opinião deles já é das melhores. Mas com certeza me senti bem atendido e parte de algo (não deveria ser esse o objetivo de uma rede social, integrar?).

Notas 10 pro Foursquare e pra Leroy. E fica aqui meu convite pros amigos que tem smartphone darem um pulo na Leroy tomar um cafezinho por conta e, quem sabe, comprar aquela lâmpada que queimou semana retrasada e você ainda não trocou porque não para nunca pra nada, sacumé, né?

Carta Aberta à Ambev

Background: esta mensagem começou como um recado no Fale Conosco do site da Ambev. Aí, por motivos que apenas o departamento de TI da empresa deles é capaz de compreender, a mensagem ficou truncada em 500 caracteres. E quem me conhece sabe que não sei escrever só 500 letrinhas sobe um assunto. Ainda mais quando é delicado como crueldade com animais. Ou Pepsi Twist Light. Ou ambos. Então nasceu a Carta Aberta à Ambev. O endereço desse post está sendo enviado ao SAC da Ambev para que eles saibam da minha decisão. Quem me conhece sabe que é doída. Mas chega de chorumelas, vamos à carta.

São Paulo, 31 de agosto de 2011.

É com muito pesar que estou escrevendo esta mensagem. Aqui em casa não somos naturebas, desses hippies sujos que bebem só água e assistem Eisenstein vestindo chinelo de sola de pneu. Mas a última festa do peão de Barretos foi a gota d'água, com a morte do pobre bezerro esgoelado naquela prova animalesca que eles chamam de bulldogging e tudo mais. Mas não seria diferente se o bezerro não tivesse morrido, ainda teria sido um espetáculo de crueldade animal. Patrocinado pela Ambev.

A Ambev é patrocinadora do evento duas vezes, pela Brahma e pelo Guaraná Antarctica. Dois produtos que eu e minha esposa não consumimos. Mas somos fãs de Original, Serramalte, Norteña, Franziskaner, Leffe, Stella Artois. E eu sou fã de Pepsi Twist Light desde sempre. Sempre com S maiúsculo, quando a Pepsi Light americana tinha limão, lá nos anos 80. Daquele momento em diante, fiquei fissurado. Comecei a misturar sodinha com refrigerante de cola pra imitar o sabor.

Quando a Pepsi "ressuscitou" o Twist no Brasil e introduziu a Pepsi Twist Light, eu virei aquele chato que vai nos restaurantes e pergunta "Tem Pepsi Twist Light?" e faz cara feia quando o garçom responde que só tem produtos da Coca Cola. Quando a Ambev comprou as marcas da PepsiCo, fiquei radiante - "Vai ficar mais fácil encontrar Pepsi!" foi tudo que eu pensei. A Ambev nunca respeitou muito a marca, preciso dizer. É difícil de verdade encontrar a desgraçada, mesmo nos supermercados onde se encontra todas as outras Pepsi. E qual é a da Pepsi 3, afinal? Diluição da marca; vocês nunca estudaram administração? Mas estou saindo do assunto.

Quem decidiu começar o boicote foi a esposa. No começo foi fácil, ninguém aqui bebe Brahma e Antarctica mesmo. Mas é muita hipocrisia fingir que deixar de beber só as marcas diretamente envolvidas faz diferença. A Ambev como instituição deve ser responsabilizada, ela é uma empresa só. Então começou a parte difícil.
As cervejas começaram a rarear aqui na nossa geladeira. Nada de Serramalte, Original, Stella. E meu estoque de Pepsi Twist Light acabando.

Estou aqui bebendo um dos últimos copos da última garrafa de 2 litros da dita-cuja. E não vou comprar mais. Provavelmente pra sempre, pois a marca da Brahma está diretamente associada ao rodeio, não só a festa de Barretos, mas tantas outras. E duvido muito que vocês vão parar de patrocinar essa e tantas outras festas só porque uns chatos pararam de beber suas marcas. Mas vai doer muito em mim deixar de beber Pepsi Twist Light. Demais.

Mas dói menos do que olhar pros meus filhos (que são todos do tipo peludo, três gatos e uma cachorra) e pensar que existem festivais de crueldade com os animais sendo patrocinados pelo investimento gigantesco que eu faço em Pepsi todos os meses (e eu posso afirmar que consigo gastar mais com a degraçada do que com cerveja, visto que essa barriguinha de chope foi conquistada com carinho e dedicação de bom bebedor). Daqui pra frente, minha cafeína virá do café.

Tchau, Pepsi Twist Light. Até nunca mais.

Andrew - Chaper 135, early draft

Lizzy was dating this douchebag called Charlie. Or such was Andrew's assessment of the situation. Charlie would constantly fail to answer her calls and take random 'guys night outs' whenever she'd try to make him go out with her friends. So tonight was just the two of them. Not that Andrew was complaining or anything. He and Lizzy hadn't hit it in quite a while and even though he in no way resented his best friend position, he always kept his hopes up.
Lizzy drove to Andrew's apartment and they took the B from 7th Ave. Station to Grand St. From there they went to this karaoke bar in Chinatown where they could have some drinks and laughs. It was a very slow night and for the first hour or so they had the stage mostly to themselves. So they laughed and teased and sang songs from back when they were freshmen, happier times when Andrew fell in love with her and she was too dazed out of a relationship to think of him as anything but a friend. Andrew reflected things were not so different from a couple of years ago.
They took the Q on Canal St. back to his place and Lizzy announced she was plastered and could she please sleep on his couch. So Andrew went into his room to get her some blankets and the pillow he kept just for just these circunstances and she was smoking on the balcony when he got back. He snuck past the balcony, got a couple of beers in the fridge and came back to sit outside with her.
- Are you trying to make me even drunker than I already am ? - asked Lizzy
- I don't believe it possible, Elizabeth.
- You're so predictable, Andy. You always call me Elizabeth when you're trying to kiss me.
- I do?
- Every single time.
- Is predictable bad Liz?
She stared into his eyes as she answered - No, Andy, it isn't bad at all. - And so he kissed her.
They lost track of time in the balcony, their beers long stale, just enjoying each other's company. It must have been at least an hour before Liz finally spoke. She once again stared intently into Andrew's eyes and asked:
- Pick a number, Andrew: one or two ?
Andrew mused - One might be a lonely number, but it's my lucky one.
- You win - answered Lizzy - Lets bring this party to your bedroom.

Andrew - Preface

Andrew was alone in his bedroom, reading science-fiction and resenting the empty space on his double bed. He'd been dumped yet again and, the way his luck was turning out lately, he had a bleak prospect for his short-term sex life. He and books had always been good bedfellows, specially those books that took him away from the sameness of everyday life. Why read about people who lead normal, boring lives - he asked himself - What is the fun in that ?
Then he thought about his own sex life again, its ups and downs. The bleakness of those times when he'd lean on sci-fi to fill the empty nights. The sheer joy he'd get in those rare moments when he'd hit the perfect trifecta of great looks, great sex and great brains. He'd always fall in love with brains first. Were those rare, perfect moments less utopic than the writings of Asimov ? And most importantly, thought Andrew, were the downers less interesting than his favorite dystopic cyberpunks ? Was his worldview right now any less interesting than Sterling or Gibson ?
That's it - answered Andrew out loud - I'm gonna write, starting tomorrow! I'm going J. G. Ballard on my own sex life.
That night Andrew dreamt of a car crash. And he woke up aroused.

Andrew, Chapter 3, Early Draft.

Zeke was driving his Honda Civic east thru Montgomery County, Andrew at the front seat, Lemmy sleeping at the back. One of Andrew's hook-ups had managed to drive The Vic off a cliff around Tribes Hill while Zeke had baby-sat his nephew that night and so managed to stay out of the usual sort of trouble Les Enfants Terribles were infamous for getting into. When Andrew called about the accident, Zeke's first reaction wasn't to ask about his friends or the girl, as one would expect:
- How's The Vic, Ender ? Is it whole ?
- It'll be o.k. They're towing it back to Amsterdam now, but me and Lemmy need a lift.
The Vic was a 98 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor Andrew bought from the Montgomery County Sheriff and kept as a prized posession. He had it painted jet black, including the chromed hubcaps, and kludged the data terminal mount to fit his laptop. He also kept the strobe lights behind the grille, though he wasn't sure the Sheriff would approve of that.
Ezekiel didn't care much for his namesake, the jewish prophet, until he watched Pulp Fiction. He'd commited Ezekiel 25:17 to memory (the movie version, not the King James' one) and was famous for overusing it. He had, presently, just found a way to fit it in the conversation about the accident:
- The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
- Don't, Zeke - Andrew pleaded.
- Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
- You know, that's not even Scripture. I mean, it is, but it's a hodge-podge. It doesn't mean anything.
- And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He was in no mood for Jules Winnfield - The Vic is not your brother. And it's not destroyed. I'll have to replace the front bumper, maybe the front shocks, that's all.
He wasn't ungrateful, Andrew, and he wouldn't normally interrupt Zeke's favorite ranting, but Lemmy was fast asleep in the back and he knew what came next. Zeke struck the steering wheel with his closed fist as he boomed - And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
Lemmy woke up with a start. He didn't like Ender's habit of letting his dates drive, specially the sub-18-dumb-bimbo type Ender had been dating for the last couple of months. Lemmy was a proud misogynist, and when stuff like tonight happened he felt equal parts worried about his friend's stupidity and vindicated on his opinion of women.
He wasn't called Lemmy, either. His name was Gianpaolo, itself a contraction of Pope John Paul II's Italian name. There were several versions of how his nickname came to be, the most accepted being that he was a great Motörhead fan (fact) and that it came from his online alias, K1LLMSTR (also a fact). But Andrew knew it was actually derived from this habit of leaving his wallet home and asking "Lemmy 20 bucks for brewskies ?" It was not that he didn't pay, mused Andrew, but the fact that after a decade he still managed to forget the damned wallet from time to time.
- So, what you guys wanna do tonight ? Have some brewskies ?
- Sure, but first, who's up to tripping the alarm of some warehouse on the way ? - offered Zeke.

Andrew, Chapter 2, First Draft.

Andrew was born in New York City in the seventies when his parents were already over thirty. They had decided to move to some smaller town upstate to raise their children (the one already in the oven and whoever came later) but his mother was having trouble disentangling herself from her job back then. By the time Peter was born some 4 years later in the early eighties Andrew and his parents were already living in Amsterdam, NY where his father put his programming skills on the original Coleco videogames. When the gaming industry crashed his father was teaching a course on videogame design at SUNY Albany and his mom was working full time on her real estate business. It was the first time Andrew's dad made less money than his mom, a tendency that would only accentuate as the years went by. He was already decided to lead a fully academic career when the gaming industry recovered half a decade later.
In the same manner Andrew worshiped his father for his 'mad programming chops' as Andrew would put it, his brother Peter put his admiration on his mother's skill in making cold, hard cash. It would be only fitting that Andrew should follow a creative career while Peter became a very technical professional. The irony resided in Peter pursuing a computer engineering career while Andrew decided to major in architecture.
Séamus, Andrew' and Peter's father, was a professor at the College of Computer and Information for as long as Andrew could remember. He'd take the Amtrak from Amsterdam to Rensselaer and back to Albany towards SUNY Plaza almost every day. Sometimes he'd take the 214 across the Hudson, sometimes he'd walk half a mile to work. He cherished these walks after one hour or more of sitting in the train. Andrew loved to visit dad in the downtown campus, and dad would sometimes take the 63 with Andrew to the beautiful uptown campus when he had business in the central office. Andrew fell in love with architecture during these visits to the 'new' campus, with its fountains, towers and columns. He learned from Séamus that its designer, Edward Durell Stone, had been responsible for parts of the Radio City Music Hall, the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel and the Museum of Modern Arts in Andrew's native New York City, and all that before he was formally considered an architect. This man's connection to his hometown struck a chord with Andrew, one that would mold his decision to become an architect himself.
It would also influence another decision, the most stupid in his vast collection of stupid decisions.

Andrew, Chapter 1, 3rd Draft.

Andrew's first child had a very unceremonious burial: it was dumped in a biological waste bin outside a fertilization clinic upstate. Andrew and Vicky were no longer together when she found out she was pregnant of his son-or-daughter-to-be, and she took the decision to abort it and never mention it to him. I might have some of the details wrong, since I don't officially know about it, even after so many years; it might have been facilitated by her father the obstetrician or maybe she didn't tell him either. The fact is that she acted on her perceived prerogative and chose to keep Andrew off the loop.
Andy used to describe his views on abortion as pro-choice, but that was before being denied one; now he no longer seemed so certain. He's still learning to cope with the reality of having his fatherhood taken away and telling me this story was part of his dealing with it.
Maybe I should start by telling you the story of Andrew and Victoria and how they came to be apart. Their relationship started when he was a freshman in architecture school and she was a high school sophomore. He was one year away from graduating when she decided to pop the question, just like that (it was common for Vicky to take initiative in these subjects):
- So, Andrew, will you marry me ?
- Sure I will Vicky. As soon as we're both done with college and can afford a little apartment, I'm gonna sweep you away from your parents.
- No, I mean, right away. You're not gonna graduate for another year and I've just been admitted, it's gonna take ages and I want us to be married by the end of the year.
- Ha, ha. Funny Vick, very funny. You know we cannot afford to leave our parent's homes, not with both of us on student loans.
- Don't you love me, Andy ?
- More than I love myself, Vick. But that's beyond the point.
And so the discussion faded, but it would soon begin to sprout again in very similar variants for the few months their relationship survived this irreconcilable divergence. Andrew adored her, beyond anything he'd ever felt for anyone. But he was simply too rational to jump into a post-teenage marriage with no chance of survival.
A few months after the break up, Vicky was sharing an apartment with Bill. Guess she didn't love Andrew nearly as much as he loved her.

Processa aí ó

Já que virou moda me processar a toa, vamos aproveitar e atrair um pouco mais de ódio. Começa assim: O Resenha em Seis publicou a crítica que o Raphael (Quatrocci) escreveu sobre o Boteco São Bento da Vila Madalena. Em primeiro lugar eu preciso esclarecer: eu li a resenha e concordo com tudo e o que eu li lá não se limita apenas ao São Bento: tá cheio de boteco escroto na Vila Madá onde os garçons fazem isso, e tem pra lá de monte de boteco servindo chope ruim, e vamos e convenhamos, a maioria dos bares de lá cobra mais ou menos três vezes o razoável. Assim como já aconteceu comigo algumas vezes, de firmas de toda estirpe, desde firmas paulistanas cujos números de telefone publicados no site não existem até firmas americanas de prestígio como a Proskauer Rose LLC, o Resenha recebeu notificação extra-judicial para remover o famigerado post, sob risco de processo. O pessoal do Contraditorium decidiu que a blogosfera brasileira deve um favor aos advogados do Brasil e resolveu que em especial a que trabalha pro São Bento merece todos os honorários que ela conseguir arrancar do seu cliente, e criou essa campanha bacaninha: TODOS os blogs devem publicar a mesma crítica, assim a moça vai ter que pedir pra fechar a internet. Bacaninha né ? Chega de lero-lero e segue o texto:

Depois da Faixa de Gaza e do Acre, este é o pior lugar do mundo para você ir com os amigos. Caro, petiscos sem graça e, principalmente, garçons ultra-power-mega chatos: você toma dois dedos do seu chopp, quente e azedo que nem xoxota nos tempos dos vikings, eles já colocam outro na mesa. E se você recusa, eles ainda ficam putos. Só tulipadas diárias no rabo para justificar tamanha simpatia no atendimento.

• Fui no da Vila Madalena. Dizem que o do Itaim é ainda pior.
  
• Para dicas de botecos que valem a pena, leia outras resenhas aqui
  
• Siga o Resenha pelo Twitter antes que eu bote outro link na mesa.

Resenhado por Raphael Quatrocci

P.S. Por falar em bacaninha, olha que legal esse vídeo feito no São Bento um dia desses. Atendimento sempre nota 10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhtkxwQpBV0